First Words Last

“He never spoke an unkind word to me.”

The wife of a well-known preacher said this as she and the family knelt at his bed just after he passed away. They had been married almost forty years and had borne many burdens together. His previous wife had died from sickness. They buried many of their children. She stood by him during the health problems he experienced the last twelve years of his life. She suffered bouts of depression and sometimes doubted her relationship to the Lord. He would always reassure her and never once scolded her for needing comfort. Neither of them was perfect, but the respect and love they had for each other was evident.

The words we speak can be a world of good or a world of harm. They are never erased and are forgotten less than we realize. People remember what we say. Today in the digital world we say that once we put something online it is there for good whether we like it or not. Well, that has always been true of the words we speak. We can’t take them back.

The tongue is “a little member and boasts great things” (James 3:5). Husbands and wives need to work on how they use it. “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col. 3:19). Life with “a hateful woman when she is married” can seem unbearable, but “the law of kindness” is on the tongue of a virtuous wife (Prov. 30:23; 31:16). Most couples say things they later regret deeply. Widows and widowers will tell you that it is very important to apologize for any harsh words before one of you passes away and you can no longer say “I’m sorry.” Better still, they will tell you to clean up your act now and speak kindly to each other.

Work hard to “let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6). Remember that “love suffers long and is kind” (I Cor. 13:4). Those verses apply to more than marriage, but they certainly include the way husbands and wives treat each other.

What a pleasant memory this widow enjoyed in the midst of all her pain! Her name was Selina Campbell, wife of Alexander Campbell, a man praised by others for his knowledge and ability as a writer, preacher, and debater, but adored by his wife for his simple kindness.

Kerry

West End church of Christ • August 18, 2024